Smarter Sleeping 101

This week’s Insomnia Story comes from the Islington Tribune.  Poor Marsha Soriano is kept up night after night living above a lively night club.  Unfortunately I have met too many people, especially here in New York, who have experienced the same issues.  They’ve tried sleeping in other rooms, turning up the TV or music, using earplugs, even yelling down at the club patrons below (probably the worst out of the ideas listed.)  Marsha decided to keep a journal of her noise problem and is now doing something about it.  Read the excerpt below:

“ A TEACHER has re­vealed how noise from an Islington bar has almost ruined her marriage.
Marsha Soriano has documented her sleepless nights in a noise diary, which will provide vital evidence when councillors review the Ladybird bar’s licence at the Town Hall on Monday.
Her notes, written in the middle of the night, describe how loud music from the Upper Street bar keeps her awake at the flat she shares with her husband Cesar. She has taken sleeping pills and spends part of the night on a sofa to escape the noise.
Bar owner Habib Eldebs maintains he has done everything he can to keep the noise down.
Ms Soriano said: “We’re moving out. We can’t take it any more. We want him to run a business and don’t care if he’s open till 4am, we just don’t want to hear it.”

Keep reading… 

Scientists have confirmed after extensive research that the average human swallows at least 12 insects a year while they sleep.

The research carried out by The University Of Oxbridge near London in England Town claims most people are unaware that they have swallowed anything in their sleep and that the most common insect swallowed is indeed a spider.

“The results are quite frightening” said Scientist Bill Brainy “But it is harmless really - no one will die from swallowing an insect in their sleep. However those who sleep with open windows may want to consider closing them at night.”

This is a joke, of course, and comes from TheSpoof.com.  The truth is, we don’t eat bugs in our sleep.  Why would any bug in their right tiny minds crawl into a damp, warm, breathing cave protected with large white fangs?  Give the buggers some credit!

The Cure for Insomnia, directed by John Henry Timmis IV, is officially the world’s longest movie, according to Guinness World Records, as of its release in 1987. Running 5220 minutes (87 hours) in length, the movie has no plot, instead consisting of artist L. D. Groban reading his lengthy poem “A Cure for Insomnia” over the course of three and a half days, spliced with occasional clips from heavy metal and pornographic videos.

The movie is shot entirely on video, and its intended purpose actually was to be so unbelievably boring that it would put people to sleep thus curing insomnia. It is therefore disputed as to whether or not The Cure for Insomnia should even be considered as a candidate for the world’s longest film in the strictest sense.

It was first played in its entirety at The School of the Art Institute in Chicago, Illinois from January 31 to February 3, 1987 in one continuous showing. It is not clear whether or not the movie has been shown since then.

Has anyone seen any part of this film?

Take a gander at the below sleep positions and what they supposedly tell you about your personality.  Does your sleep position fit the description?   Janet Kinosian seems to think so, as these four  explanations come from her recent article on what your sleep position says about you.  The article goes on to  talk about couples’ sleep positions and so on.

“1. In the prone position, sleeper lies face down on the stomach with arms extended and bent, usually framed above the head. People who regularly sleep in the prone position - and both Madonna and I are in this category, interestingly enough - tend to have strong compulsive tendencies and stubbornness in their personalities and are persistent and goal-oriented.

2. The royal position is the geometric opposite of the prone. The royal sleeper lies supine, fully on the back, with arms slightly akimbo at the sides. It’s an open, vulnerable and expansive position, and these people display self-confidence and self-involvement. Workaholic businessmen and entrepreneurs often prefer this position.

3. The most common position, the semi-fetal, has sleepers lying on their sides with knees slightly bent, one arm outstretched above the head, the other resting comfortably on the opposing upper arm to cradle the head. Conciliatory, compromising, non-threatening, non-shakers; sleep experts claim this to be the optimal sleep posture position.

4. The full-fetal is the characteristic womb position. Sleepers lie curled on their sides, with knees pulled all the way up, heads bent forward. Usually a pillow or blanket mass is centered at the stomach. These people are highly emotional, sensitive, artistic, and have intense one-on-one relationships. Oddly, it’s found that women who sleep in this position normally have heightened capacity for multiple orgasms.”

 Keep Reading…

We all have celebrities we can relate to whether it’s by looks, hobbies, sense of humor.  Many of us think, “if only I could meet them, I’d bet we’d be friends.”  In actuality the majority would freeze up and stutter uncontrollably until he/she awkwardly left your presence.  However, here’s a list of celebrities you can share in suffering with.  These 10 celebrity insomniacs, some alive and some dead, all battled the crippling effects brought on by a lack of sleep.  Next to the names are the personal insomnia remedies used by each.  The list comes from Canongate (the link to the story has since broken):

1. Marlene Dietrich, actress : a sardine-and-onion sandwich on rye.

2. Amy Lowell, poet : in a hotel, Lowell hired five rooms - one to sleep in, and empty rooms above, below, and on either side, in order to guarantee quiet.

3. W.C. Fields, actor : On his worst nights, he could only fall asleep under a beach umbrella being sprinkled by a garden hose.

4. Alexandre Dumas, author : He took late-night strolls.

5. Judy Garland, actress: As a teenager, Garland was prescribed amphetamines to control her weight. As the years went by she took so many that she sometimes stayed up three or four days running. She eventually died of a drug overdose.

6. Tallulah Bankhead, actress: She hired young homosexual `caddies’ to keep her company, and one of their most important duties was to hold her hand until she drifted off to sleep.

7. Franz Kafka, author: kept a diary detailing his suffering. For October 2, 1911, he wrote, `Sleepless night. The third in a row. I fall asleep soundly, but after an hour I wake up, as though I had laid my head in the wrong hole.’

8. Theodore Roosevelt, US president: a shot of cognac in a glass of milk.

9. Groucho Marx, comic actor: When he couldn’t sleep, he would phone people up in the middle of the night and insult them.

10. Mark Twain, author: Twain once threw a pillow at the window of his bedroom while he was a guest in a friend’s house. When the satisfying crash let in what he thought was fresh air, he fell asleep at last. In the morning he discovered that he had broken a glass-enclosed bookcase.

Now, I certainly do not recommend breaking bookcases or hiring homosexual caddies to hold your hand, but as you can see some people will do anything for some shut eye.

What’s the strangest remedy you’ve ever tried?